For a young twenty year old at a Christian university, being single is almost equated to being a nun or has failed to meet her future husband. Putting all romantic and fairy-tale stories aside, this is rather disappointing. It is almost as if life is put on a timeline, a template that everyone is required to follow. If you haven't met your future spouse by twenty, you are clearly not listening from God. There are many things wrong with that statement, all of which I will address. In addition, to this visceral mentality prevalent on Christian campuses nationwide, it is no wonder that waiting has gained a rather impetuous reputation. Feeling the effects myself, as a young vibrant Christian woman, it can be difficult to comprehend what the Christian social circles say you have to experience by this age range. Perhaps what makes it all the more difficult is the profuse number of peers that are getting engaged. That, and the countless hours spent on tumblr and Pinterest admiring sweet and romantic couples/engagement/wedding pictures is not aiding that sentiment. I am well aware that waiting sounds very Christian-like, very stringy, and quite chaste. Waiting for that one special person is absolutely archaic, some may say. Very well, that can be true in particular instances, yet it would be insufficient to state that is true in every sense. Waiting can be a wonderful thing, particularly if it's presented in the right view. However, this isn't a post about waiting. At least, not entirely. Rather, this is a statement addressing many attitudes in the Christian spheres regarding pertinent topics such as waiting and the process that goes into waiting.
By waiting for that special person, it is not saying that you are incomplete and you are patiently waiting for that one person that will make you complete. As a Christian, it is Jesus that truly makes you complete. Rather, waiting is a test on character, virtue, and faith. I am sure that some of you have heard the expression that waiting is easy. I can assure it is not. In fact, I find waiting to be a very difficult thing to do. Waiting does mean that life is on pause until you meet/date/marry that special person. Ladies, allow me to speak to you for a moment. Waiting is a wonderful thing and should not be done passively. But permit me to say that while you wait, enjoy life. Enjoy singlehood. Enjoy the single life. Enjoy the pleasure of spontaneity. Enjoy that you are free to do whatever you want whenever you want. The period of singlehood is designed not to torture you while your special someone enters your life, but rather to grow as a person. Singlehood is designed as a period of time in which the person matures, grows, cultivates her character, and becomes the woman and wife she deserves to be to her husband. But, in all honesty, being single is fun. You can go out and party, enjoy your time, and do things you otherwise wouldn't be able to do if you were in a relationship, such as travel, do an internship, or simply do the things you desire to do. I believe that modern media has depicted singlehood incorrectly. Being single doesn't mean you're alone, you're depressed, and you're without love. While you are not in a romantic relationship, you are surrounded by people who you love and love you in return, so you are certainly not alone. It is true that there are certain things you cannot do as a single woman, but it goes both ways. I understand the desire to be cherished by that wonderful man, but until then, enjoy life. You are given a certain amount of time of being single; enjoy it while you can and do not let it go to waste. Get to know yourself, form your own identity, and love yourself. Singlehood is a gift (hard to see at the moment, I completely understand), but nonetheless, it is a period in everyone's life in which you grow as a person. When the right time comes when you meet that special man (still speaking to the female demographic), you will have gone through a process which has prepared you to be in a relationship that will design to last.
Okay, I will be transparent for a moment. I go to a Christian university where there are some girls that desire to get their MRS degree before graduation. (Disclaimer: I am not one of them.) They actively seek out potential guys that could be their husband. You may laugh, but I am positively serious. Perhaps the atmosphere that encourages such pairings, but it is interesting how quickly two people will enter a relationship. For those, however, that are not quite that keen to enter a relationship, and prefer to--wait for it--wait, it is not a crime against Christianity. Waiting a perfectly apt thing to do. Waiting essentially says, I know God's best is out there for me, and so I will wait for His divine timing when my spouse will enter my life. If you're twenty and you're not in a relationship or even pursuing one, that is fine. That is more than fine. Don't feel that just because everyone around you is either in a relationship or engaged or even married makes you less of a Christian. Everyone is different; some receive it earlier and some later in life. That is not contingent on your walk with God. While you are waiting, fall deeper in love Jesus. Allow Him to romance you, to show you His heart, to show you His heart for you. I tried to avoid sounding cliche, but I fail on this: There really is no rush. Enjoy life. Waiting means you are positioning for something to come. Waiting will not last forever. So until that period ends, enjoy life to yourself before you begin sharing it with someone else.
For those of you who are waiting and are truly waiting on God's instructions, you often find yourself asking what it looks like. I can assure you that it does not mean that you are sitting and waiting for God to place him in your lap. He will come out of nowhere. Bam! There you go. Unfortunately, it's not like that. Rather, it is more enveloping yourself so deeply in God's heart that out of that, God will lead you and direct you to be in the right place at the right time so that God will bring 2 people utterly in love with Him together. You surrender your previous ideas regarding dating, what he will look like (since God can surprise you), what your story might look like, and how you'll meet. Let that go and give it to God. Allow Him timing, His goodness, and His blessings counsel you. Since we can think incorrectly about many, many things, waiting is not just waiting. It is a process, as I mentioned earlier, that constitutes a change in attitude, a renewal of mindset, and follow the Holy Spirit's footsteps. However, waiting can look differently for everyone. It can be an extensive process or it can merely mean trusting and relying on the Lord's timing. Allow these Scriptures to nurture your spirit, to encourage you that God's timing is truly perfect, and reassure you that God is a good Father--He will not withhold anything good from His children. He knows the perfect time when to give it. Just as a chef knows the perfect time when to take a meal out of the oven, God is likewise wise when to present something to us. If it's too early, it will be undercooked, and that will be no good because it will not be fully developed. If it's too late, it will be overcooked, and it will be burnt. It will be taken out at precisely the right time, when all the ingredients have fused together and give off a powerful and delicious aroma.
"This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." Habakkuk 2:3
"And thus Abraham, having patiently waited, obtained the promise." Hebrews 6:15
"The LORD Almighty has sworn, "Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will happen." Isaiah 14:24
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
"For all of God's promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding "Yes!" And through Christ, our "Amen" (which means "Yes") ascends to God for his glory." 1 Corinthians 1:20
My hope in writing this post is not advocating waiting or discussing how wonderful being single is or how I loathe counting how many couples have gotten engaged in the past 6 months. Rather, it is writing an expose on what waiting truly looks like and how it is truly a wonderful process and experience. In this, I aspire that when someone waits, it will not produce a putrid taste in the mouth or curl the mouth upward. I am merely writing on the intended purposes of what waiting is, what singlehood is intended to be, and why waiting is a beautiful thing. There is a particular view on these aforementioned subjects; I am simply discussing what the intended design of it is.