I wouldn't trade being a college student for anything. For the record, I think that high school is exponentially over-rated, with all the drama, animosity, and cliques that pertain to high school. And I must admit, I am extremely fortunate enough to attend a relatively small Christian university that are true to their values and the students are honest and real. But this past week, with all my assignments (2 papers, 1 test, 1 quiz, 1 discussion post, 1 response post, and beginning my study schedule for finals), I've begun to realize that college literally isn't all about fun and staying up last two in the morning. And while I have been doing that since school day 1, it's really caught up with me this week. And even with all the stress and potential difficulty I could have endured, I would not trade this not even for one second. Even with stress and difficulty, that doesn't mean that God doesn't want me here. I mean, the logic that it's harder and poses more obstactles should prompt the fact that this is God's will for my life. I could have easily have quit, said this is much too hard, and refuse to go forward. I know several peers that when are in the front of hardships, they will cross their arms, and say, it's much too hard and quit. No sirree, not for me. I don't usually vent, but I think this is a reason why I created this blog in the first place: so that I can respectfully list my ideas and opinions.
This week though, I've been struggling with the fact that I cannot change who I am so that I present a "better" form of myself. Or, vying for attention as if I'm in some sort of competition. I reject that. Just because some type of girls are more "outgoing" that I am, that does not justify the fact that you can flirt with every guy that crosses your path. I mean, seriously! Is there no discretion or prudence anymore! Whatever happened to mystery and keeping yourself quiet? The more you don't say, the more he has to wonder (in a good way). Isn't that the whole point of keeping the chase alive? No, apparently not at my school, because every single girl throws herself at the first guy she sees in hopes that he'll make a move. And with some of my friends (lady gals), I feel as though I'm always in a competition to see which girl gets which guy, which girl gets which guy's attention and can keep it, and which girl can make which guy like her back. I am so sick and tired of all that crud! And because I refuse to succumb to that type of behavior, I appear anti-social and taciturn when I don't have a good reason to! Sometimes, I honestly wish guys weren't eating that flipping BS up. I know guys like that and all, but have they truly lost the desire to find their precious and begotten treasure? Aren't they interested in finding their Proverbs 31 woman?
And another thing, if a guy likes a girl, I find, he will not tease her and joke menacingly with her. Not if he really likes her. I understand the playful jesting and the poking and childish teasing, but not headlocks and neck. Sometimes, I am so fed up with the immaturity some guys on campus have; they do not know how to treat a girl properly sometimes. And if they do, they get labelled as a "gentleman" and will finish last. I gaurantee you, gentlemen, that you do not finish last. While girls like a sense of adventure and find rebellious guys attractive, at the end of the day, they want a guy they know will cherish them, protect them, love them, and respect them. I think it's time for guys to stop being hormonally driven sex creatures and stand up and be a freaking man already!
Phew! I apologizing for ranting like that. Usually, I'm much more civil and can hold my thoughts together, but this week...I felt the need to let it out. And this is my blog, after all. Again, I'm not revealing anything personal, like people's name or voicing my opinions over Facebook as if it was my journal or diary entry. This is real life and refuse to be fake or hide things. This is how I feel. I've said it and now I can move on.