Aggitation Aggrivation

First, I have to be foreboding and warn y'all: I am a little pissed off. (Yes, that word does exist in my voacabulary but no, it does not insinuate a horrible conduct.) I know that I am persecuted and that my so-called friends with whom I used to associate dislike me greatly because I became serious about Jesus and that didn't comply with their image of me. For some reason, they thought that I would be the typical Christian teen who wanted to join in with all the parties, alcohol, lawlessness, debauchary, drugs, and casual sex. And while my former peers were not exactly in that clique, the idea ran through their minds as we progressed grades and started growing older. Besides, most of my friends has comrades in older grades or siblings at least two years older, so that influence definetely affected their thinking, whether they are willing to admit it or not. And sadly to their dismay, I grew to be the atypical adolescent they, deep, deep down, knew I was. So when that character shined through, they grew repulsed at my new "identitity" and refused to mingle with me simply because I was a "religious freak". What truly astounded me is that they did not dare to think this of my other Christian peers, whom I also affiliated with and was part of a group. They laughed with them and hey, considered them to be closely related. But...not with me. Why? Well, I am not exactly certain as to the reason they purposely alienate me, but I believe the reason lies within the fact that I simply refuse to compromise my faith and that shines through everything I say, do, think, and act. So what happens when I try to became cavalier with them now? Heads clash and ideas brew heated discussions which eventually turns to enmity and profound aversion. It punctures my soul and vexes me when I attempt to share with them that their ideas or tenacious belief will not permit their ticket to an afterlife oasis and they respond with profound dislike. But I know what they're thinking: How is it that what I believe is any different from their's? What makes me think I know better than them? Or, frequently used, what makes me think that what I believe is better than what say, an atheist or a "fundamentalist" Christian (which, by the way, is no such thing) would believe? Truth be told, I can't convince them by my words that what I believe is the real thing. Words have no influence unless there is action and sentiments behind it. Sadly, they refuse to allow me to show them! I don't even get a chance to express myself to them! It's as if they are trying to shove their carefully-constructed lies down my throat, attempting me to believe that what I believe is a bunch of hullabaloo. Which, frankly, is not. But, in their minds, what I think about them is what they think about me. So I am facing a conundrum, you see. When I even begin to tell them lovingly, with unconditional love (which they mocked unashamedly at my dispense), they simply put a wall up and I crash into it face first. Somehow, looking at it from a different angle, I believe that what I am telling them is hitting a nerve, and when words hit a nerve, the immediate defense mechanism is offense (which they have displayed on numerous occasions), and then they begin to discredit Jesus and that the fact that He is a fraud. I try not to grow weary or hurt ot cry, but sometimes, I feel as though they are not directly targetting this at Jesus as much as they are directing this as me because I left their little clan to pursue my calling and follow Jesus. And since I am confident and not ashamed to post thought-proving statuses on Facebook (like, for example, atheism does not give you hope, joy, love, healing, drastic changes--heartfelt changes--, or a life of worth in the Creator's eyes like Jesus gives). When this comment aroused my peer's vocal (very vocal) opinion, I sense that now, it's not so much as defending themselves but trying to force me out of putting in my two cents. They don't even let me try to explain or give them the opportunity to really think; I think it's because they don't want to. I sense that they rationalize and based on my dispotion and temperment, they can't try to tell me that Jesus is fake or that I am a fraud in following and abiding in a fraudulent religion. I think they put up that imaginary (but existent) wall because if they search, if they really search, perhaps they will find exactly what they are so desperately trying to avoid.

I am aware that people make fun of me that I following and living in the realness of Christ's light and that I am oppressed verbally for my faith. But you know what? I don't, pardon my language, give a damn. Who cares what they think? Are they God? Do they tell me when I'm going to die and where I'm going to go? Do they rule over my life as a godlike supremacy? No, I didn't think so. So let them talk and gossip and speak poorly about me until their tongues fall off. I don't care; I really don't. When they reach that low point, when they hit rock bottom, and they will have no one else to turn to (because in life, friends aren't really friends if they agree with what you're saying just because you're friends. They're friends if they make you think and analyze the situation, attempting to see the light regarding this spectacle. They are your friends if they refuse to give you alcohol not because it's against the law to drink underage but because it's unbeneficial to your health.), they will either face it alone in dispair or lift their eyes to their Maker and surrender and ask for help. Talk about a humbling experience. One of the reasons why people refuse God is because they desire freedom and they think God doesn't give freedom. While freedom without borders is bondage, God won't allow you to recklessly ruin your life by doing whatever (after all, He is your Father and you are His child, so as your Parent, He won't allow you to be stupid); He will guide you in the right path, in the right direction, and in the right time. "But why would one need God anyway?" Alright then, when you get struck by the storms of life, we'll see how you fare. And as for my peers, I'll see where they'll be in a few years and then I'll see who has proved character, dignity, and integrity. Because most of them are just big talkers. People with character don't talk; they do.